I’m bringing this back for 2018! This week I’ll only be answering one of your reader emails, but in the future I’ll pick my 5 best questions of the week and answer them here. Your identity is kept anonymous and I hope my advice helps you guys out!
Q: I love the hell out of my wife, and we have amazing sex…but I have 3 things where I’d like some improvement.
1- How do I convince her to swallow?
She’s amazing at BJ’s, but she won’t even let me cum in her mouth. She’s done it once or twice when I don’t let on that I’m close to orgasm, but she says the texture is disgusting to her. She says the texture on her tongue is nasty. She’s warned me to always tell her when I’m close, that she doesn’t like the surprise. Truthfully, I don’t care if she swallows. I just want to cum inside her mouth.
2- How do I convince her to start some ass play?
She likes pressure against her asshole when we are fucking. I just need to know how to get her started in letting me get a digit or the tip of my dick in her ass (by the way I’m just average sized). What’s the best way to gradually, smoothly break her into this?
3- How do I convince her to wear lingerie?
I know she is self-conscious about her body, but I tell her all the time how much I love her body and when she dresses slutty. She also says she doesn’t like to make a “big production” out of sex. I love the fun and anticipation though. I’ve bought her items in the past that she thought were too small on her…which made her upset. Any ideas on how to approach this?
A: It’s normal to want to explore new things in your sex life when in a long-term relationship or marriage. And it’s really easy to fall into a routine when it comes to sex as you become more and more comfortable with your partner.
1- Personally, I don’t really get the texture issue (and I’m VERY particular about textures when it comes to food) because semen is really no different of a texture than a milkshake or thin smoothie. I CAN understand the taste being an issue, because sometimes it just does NOT taste good. This one will probably be tricky, and at the end of the day if it’s just something she is not comfortable doing, then that’s just how it’s going to be. Tell her that you love the way she gives you head and how great it feels and how it would mean a lot to you if sometimes you could finish the full experience in her mouth. Have a drink ready for her to chase it with quickly so the semen doesn’t spend much time in her mouth. If she is just completely averse to it, then leave it at that and don’t push her, maybe revisit on your birthday. Be understanding and okay with it if she says no.
Often times women (and men) are wary of ass play simply because it still seems a little taboo to them. If she enjoys the pressure during sex, get some good lube (Gun Oil brand
is the best for anal/ass play) and start very slowly with just the tip of your pinky. Go slow. Starting with baby steps is the best way to build up to doing full on anal. Play the long game on this one, don’t try to do too much too fast, and focus on her pleasure. Knowing she is enjoying herself will make it better for you too.
3- I can totally relate to the way your wife feels about her body and lingerie. I am not a lingerie girl, I literally own like one matching set and I never wear panties so I always feel really self-conscious and weird wearing lingerie. This is another one of those conversations where you have to compliment her and let her know how sexy you find her and how much it would mean to you for her to dress up every once in a while. Men—I can not stress this enough—unless you know your partner’s EXACT sizes, don’t buy the lingerie for her, let her pick it out. It’s happened to me a few times too where a man thinks he’s doing something fun by picking out lingerie for me to wear and then I go to put it on and it’s like 2 sizes too small. Which, bless your heart for thinking I’m a size medium in panties, but it can be really humiliating and make a woman feel awful about her body. Pick it out with her. Or let her know some things that you like, hand her some cash and tell her to go pick something out to surprise you with. That way she has control and gets to choose something that she likes on her body, and it’s a total surprise for you. If she feels good and confident in it, that’ll make it even more fun for both of you.
Send me more questions y’all! About sex, dating, life, literally anything that you think I could give you some good insight on. I love talking to you guys and I really enjoy being at least somewhat helpful. Fill out my contact submission form or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Have a great weekend y’all!!