Ask Meredith!

I’m bringing this back for 2018! This week I’ll only be answering one of your reader emails, but in the future I’ll pick my 5 best questions of the week and answer them here. Your identity is kept anonymous and I hope my advice helps you guys out!

 

Q:  I love the hell out of my wife, and we have amazing sex…but I have 3 things where I’d like some improvement.

1- How do I convince her to swallow?  
She’s amazing at BJ’s, but she won’t even let me cum in her mouth.  She’s done it once or twice when I don’t let on that I’m close to orgasm, but she says the texture is disgusting to her.  She says the texture on her tongue is nasty.  She’s warned me to always tell her when I’m close, that she doesn’t like the surprise.  Truthfully, I don’t care if she swallows.  I just want to cum inside her mouth.
2- How do I convince her to start some ass play?  
She likes pressure against her asshole when we are fucking.  I just need to know how to get her started in letting me get a digit or the tip of my dick in her ass (by the way I’m just average sized).  What’s the best way to gradually, smoothly break her into this?
3- How do I convince her to wear lingerie?
I know she is self-conscious about her body, but I tell her all the time how much I love her body and when she dresses slutty.  She also says she doesn’t like to make a “big production” out of sex.  I love the fun and anticipation though.  I’ve bought her items in the past that she thought were too small on her…which made her upset.  Any ideas on how to approach this?
A: It’s normal to want to explore new things in your sex life when in a long-term relationship or marriage. And it’s really easy to fall into a routine when it comes to sex as you become more and more comfortable with your partner.
1- Personally, I don’t really get the texture issue (and I’m VERY particular about textures when it comes to food) because semen is really no different of a texture than a milkshake or thin smoothie. I CAN understand the taste being an issue, because sometimes it just does NOT taste good. This one will probably be tricky, and at the end of the day if it’s just something she is not comfortable doing, then that’s just how it’s going to be. Tell her that you love the way she gives you head and how great it feels and how it would mean a lot to you if sometimes you could finish the full experience in her mouth. Have a drink ready for her to chase it with quickly so the semen doesn’t spend much time in her mouth. If she is just completely averse to it, then leave it at that and don’t push her, maybe revisit on your birthday. Be understanding and okay with it if she says no.
2- Often times women (and men) are wary of ass play simply because it still seems a little taboo to them. If she enjoys the pressure during sex, get some good lube (Gun Oil brand is the best for anal/ass play) and start very slowly with just the tip of your pinky. Go slow. Starting with baby steps is the best way to build up to doing full on anal. Play the long game on this one, don’t try to do too much too fast, and focus on her pleasure. Knowing she is enjoying herself will make it better for you too.
3- I can totally relate to the way your wife feels about her body and lingerie. I am not a lingerie girl, I literally own like one matching set and I never wear panties so I always feel really self-conscious and weird wearing lingerie. This is another one of those conversations where you have to compliment her and let her know how sexy you find her and how much it would mean to you for her to dress up every once in a while. Men—I can not stress this enough—unless you know your partner’s EXACT sizes, don’t buy the lingerie for her, let her pick it out. It’s happened to me a few times too where a man thinks he’s doing something fun by picking out lingerie for me to wear and then I go to put it on and it’s like 2 sizes too small. Which, bless your heart for thinking I’m a size medium in panties, but it can be really humiliating and make a woman feel awful about her body. Pick it out with her. Or let her know some things that you like, hand her some cash and tell her to go pick something out to surprise you with. That way she has control and gets to choose something that she likes on her body, and it’s a total surprise for you. If she feels good and confident in it, that’ll make it even more fun for both of you.
Send me more questions y’all! About sex, dating, life, literally anything that you think I could give you some good insight on. I love talking to you guys and I really enjoy being at least somewhat helpful. Fill out my contact submission form or email me at meredith@meredithactually.com.
Have a great weekend y’all!!
Xoxo,
Meredith

Meredith Actually is coming back in 2018!

After taking a couple of months off it’s time to revamp and reboot Meredith Actually!! Starting on January 1st, I will be bringing it all back and this time it will be better than ever!

-Ask Meredith posts every week: each Friday morning I’ll be answering your top 5 questions on my blog. Sex, dating, life, work, beauty–anything you want to ask me! You can email me at meredith@meredithactually.com or fill out my contact submission form here on my website. Your questions will always be kept anonymous and I’ll answer everything that I can!

-Bi-weekly sex and dating stories! I know you love my personal stories of dating and sex fails and triumphs and I’ve curated tons more stories that I can’t wait to share with you all! Look for the first story of the New Year on Monday morning to help heal your New Year’s Day hangover.

-Bi-weekly think pieces–I’ve got opinions and experiences and I want to share them with you! Something you’d like to see me write about or talk about? Email me your topics, I want to get conversations started!

-New Merch–I’m updating my merch store in 2018 and as always you can shop official The Meredith merchandise here and use my code MEREDITH for 15% off your order!

What else is coming in 2018?? More hoe tips, more dirty jokes, more stand-up shows and a podcast!! Keep your eyes and ears peeled, I can’t wait to share all of this and more with all of you, my little basuritas!

Happy New Year!

Xoxo,

Meredith

Andrew

There’s something hot and exciting about a cute guy on the other side of the country wanting to fly you out for a weekend getaway. Promises of nice dinners, maybe a day at a spa, and lots of hot sex—sign me up! That’s what Andrew had offered me repeatedly, but since I only knew him on the internet, I declined. I mean, sure, I’d flown halfway across the country to meet a guy for the first time before, but I took my time vetting Andrew to make sure he wasn’t some sort of Patrick Bateman about to murder me. Andrew followed me on Snapchat for a long time, messaging me here and there, always flirtatious, and I would flirt right back. He was cute, but not really my type—a little too clean cut for me—with blonde hair and blue eyes. The kind of guy who definitely wore pastel Polo shirts with khaki shorts and loafers, but he had a nice body and I won’t lie, his bulge pics were impressive. He regularly asked if I’d like to come visit him in Boston, but I took my time getting to know him.

 

Over the course of several months I learned that Andrew was an accountant for the Navy, lived in a nice area in Boston where he had moved to from Virginia. He and I added each other on Facebook and he offered up any information I asked of him. I began to feel comfortable with him as a person and started to consider his offer to go to Boston. I figured I would make sure everyone knew where I was, and if I began to have a bad time then I could always leave or make friends in Boston and explore the city on my own. I was no stranger to enjoying a city on my own or meeting new people, so I thought I’d roll the dice and take him up on his offer. Andrew and I agreed on a weekend in July and he booked my flights for me. He told me that we would go out to Nantucket or Martha’s Vineyard one day and that we’d have a great time. He also said that he may have to work a little bit one day, so he’d gladly send me to a spa while he was busy. I was totally excited about my weekend trip and when the day came for my 6 hour flight I was more than ready for an adventure.

 

I arrived in Boston on a Thursday night and Andrew said he was outside waiting for me in his Audi. Nice car choice, Andrew. I was nervous and excited as I walked out of the airport and quickly spotted him. He was a little shorter and skinnier than he’d appeared on Snapchat and in his pictures, but I guess we all know our angles. He helped me with my bag and we were on our way to get dinner. It was a little awkward, he wasn’t outwardly affectionate, but he was very complimentary, telling me how sexy I was and how he couldn’t wait to get me home. We finished dinner and headed back to his place. When we walked in the door I noticed it was a pretty big space and he mentioned that he had a roommate. I asked if his roommate knew I would be there and he laughed and said “Shit I probably should’ve mentioned that to him.”

 

I thought it was weird he hadn’t told his roommate that he’d have some girl staying with him for the weekend, but maybe they weren’t close or maybe he knew he wouldn’t care. I don’t know, I was just ready to have fun. We went into Andrew’s room and got situated and he started to kiss me. We began to make out, which was decent, and he started to feel me up a la high school make out, before moving on to removing my clothes. As things started to heat up and we lost more and more clothing, I noticed that his dick wasn’t as big as it had appeared in his bulge pics.

 

This, my friends, is called cockfishing.

 

The dick didn’t match the pics, but it was relatively average. Andrew grabbed a condom and we got down to business. We pretty much just stayed in missionary and the sex didn’t last all that long, but I did manage to get off so it was fine. Almost immediately after finishing and tossing the condom, Andrew fell asleep. I was still on west coast time and it was only like 9pm so I was bored and just messed around on Instagram until I crashed out too.

 

The next morning Andrew woke up early and went to get breakfast for me before he had to go into work for a little while. I didn’t mind because I was a little jet-lagged and needed a nap, plus I had some work to do on my computer. It was raining in Boston so it wasn’t like I wanted to walk around the city, but Andrew was kind enough to leave me some cash just in case I felt like going to do something solo. Because of the weekend’s weather, we were no longer going out to Nantucket but he said we’d do fun things in the city. I was a little bummed, but I couldn’t do much about the weather. Later in the day he was finally headed home and asked what I’d like to do that night and if I wanted to get dinner and drinks. I said yes.

 

Andrew got home and seemed a little off. I was ready to go to dinner and he was quiet and not as complimentary as he had been the night before. Finally he asks me, “What did you snapchat today?”

 

I looked at him with confusion and racked my brain. I hadn’t snapped anything crazy, just a few shots of me with stupid filters on saying that I was in Boston. He told me not to snapchat from his house anymore, which was confusing and weird. I asked what was up.

 

“So, I’m dating someone. And it turns out, she follows you. She recognized my bedroom in the background of your snaps.”

 

Motherfucker.

 

He quickly tried to do damage control and tell her that I’m just a friend crashing with him for the weekend and that it wasn’t anything to be worried about. But then he told me what her snap name was and said not to open any snaps from her if she messages me. I asked if it was exclusive or what the situation was, and as he tried to downplay the relationship to make me be cool with things. I began to realize that no, this guy is obviously a liar, and this wasn’t okay. He then proceeded to go into his living room and ignored me for three fucking hours, like as if somehow any of this was my fault.

 

Hoe tip: when a guy gets caught cheating on his girlfriend, it is HIS fault.

 

I had received several messages from people in Boston wanting to hang out and I got on Bumble and said fuck it, I’ll find someone else to hang out with this weekend. As a few hours went by a guy I’d talked to several times in recent days, Jay, offered to pick me up and at least give me somewhere else to crash for the night since it was late at that point and Andrew hadn’t even had the common decency to feed me dinner (after feeding me bullshit, that is). I texted Andrew from the next room and told him I was leaving. Andrew came into his room and asked if I was sure, and I told him that I was really uncomfortable and didn’t want to be there anymore. He gave me a half-assed apology, Jay showed up, and I was on my way.

 

Jay took me for a drink and a bite to eat with his friends, and gave me a place to crash for the night. He showed me around Boston a little the next day, and then we went our separate ways. I set off to meet a guy or two from Bumble, after, of course, Jay decided to go out of his way to tell me that I don’t contribute anything to society and that I’d be cuter if I took better care of myself. Like completely unprovoked, he felt the need to pinpoint everything he thought was wrong with me. The next guy I met in Boston, Adam, was all fun and great and invited me to drinks and dinner with his friends, but ditched me after drinks to wander around south Boston alone. I got myself a room, had a good cry, and crashed out.

 

Finally it was Sunday and it was time for me to go home. I couldn’t wait. I got to the airport, got on the plane, and got shit-faced. Andrew had bought me an upgraded seat that included complimentary alcoholic beverages, and I took full advantage by drinking all the prosecco they had on the plane. As I was crushing drinks I thought about all the people I had encountered over the weekend. Every guy started out with promise and just wound up being a typical, immature dick. What kind of vibe was I putting out there that I was attracting these guys? I mean, sure I portray myself in a certain way, but that doesn’t mean I’m not still worthy of respect as a human being. Andrew probably assumed that because I’m a sexual and open person, I would be okay with facilitating him cheating on his girlfriend. And Jay probably thought that I somehow needed his advice on how to live my life because I’m a woman and therefore inferior to him (I almost sprained my eyeballs rolling them so hard). And as for Adam…well I think he just got drunk and forgot how to treat people. At the end of it all, these men were immature and lacked respect and that wasn’t my fault.

 

I don’t think I’ll ever be making it back to Boston. Although I’m sure there are plenty of lovely people there, I only met Massholes.

Ask Meredith!

Time for me to give more shitty advice!

 

Q: I’ve been dating my girlfriend for almost two years now. She truly is awesome. She’s funny, pretty, and I know has my back through anything and everything. And of course I am totally in love with her. As awesome as she is I have been super tempted to cheat on her. I have two girls right now that are just waiting for a text from me. I really want to but at the same time am very hesitant because I know if she were to find out what I did it would absolutely devastate her. I don’t know if I should go through with this or not. I know losing her in the long run definitely isn’t worth it but I miss sleeping with random chicks and not having to deal with all the things that come with being in a relationship.

A: If you love your girlfriend and don’t want to lose her, don’t cheat on her. It’s not fucking rocket science. If you want to fuck other girls, break up with your girlfriend. But don’t be surprised if you find yourself missing her and she doesn’t take you back. Pretty simple if you ask me, keep your dick in your pants if you want to keep your girlfriend.

 

Q: I know you always say you don’t want unsolicited dick pics, but I know sometimes girls ask to see it. When would you want to get one and how should a guy send one?

A: This is a good question. I can’t speak for all women, but I do think that I can for the majority when I say that you should never send a dick pic unless a woman asks you to. For example, if I’m sexting or flirting with a guy and he tells me he’s turned on I might ask him to show me–acceptable time for a dick pic. Or if I’m interested in sleeping with a guy I might ask to see what he’s working with. Another scenario is if I’m exchanging sexy pics with a guy and he sends me a full body pic where is dick is exposed–that would be fine. As for tips on your dick pic–include your body in the pic. Just a dick is aggressive. Don’t make it zoomed in too close, and if you take it from the bottom up that’s a tell-tale sign you’re trying to make it look bigger. Also, let’s start being honest about what 8 inches is, okay fellas?

 

Q: What does it take to get a date with you?

A: This is a common question in my DMs. If it’s just a date we’re talking about, be attractive, between the ages of 27-45, have a decent job, and be a non-smoker. The smell of cigarette smoke makes me want to throw up and second-hand smoke makes me cough (on account of the asthma). Weed smoke doesn’t bother me though. Make me laugh and have the ability to make me cum. If you’re asking me out, dinner/drinks/whatever we’re doing is on you my man. Also, I’m 32, not 21, so put in some effort with where you decide to take me. That doesn’t mean it has to be expensive, but make it worth it for me to go out with you. Also be geographically desirable, I’m not traveling more than like 30 minutes to go on a first date. I think that sums it up pretty well!

 

Q: What is too small for you when it comes to dick size?

A: My preferred range is 7-8.5 inches, however I’ve had perfectly good sex with someone in the 6 inch range. Under 5 and you better have a strong head game my friend.

 

Q: I really want to blow my boyfriend’s mind with a great blowjob. I think I’m okay at it, and I usually make him cum unless it’s foreplay before sex, but I want him to be super impressed. Any tips?

A: The biggest keys with giving blowjobs are to pay attention to your man’s responses to whatever you’re doing, and to enjoy it. Notice when his breathing changes or intensifies–he likes what you’re doing. Spit on it. Don’t be afraid to get messy and use a lot of spit, guys like a messy blowjob. Also get your hands in on the action, using a slightly circular motion on the base of his dick while you use your mouth so it’s kind of like your hand is an extension of your mouth. Keeping a steady rhythm once you can tell he’s getting close will make him cum—don’t change your rhythm up too much (unless he’s into edging and you want to prolong the process—that’s another topic). If you’re able to deep throat that’s a fun thing to do while you’re building him up. If he enjoys face-fucking you then being able to deep throat is a must. Relax your throat and breath through your nose. A good finishing move when he cums is licking his dick hole—the tip and hole are super sensitive so definitely give that area some good attention. Most of all, have fun! You’re always likely to be better at something you’re having fun doing, and he will notice that you’re having a good time and enjoy it more. And don’t forget, spitters are quitters (unless he prefers a facial or something). Good luck!

 

That’s it for this week! If you’ve got burning questions for me use the contact submission form or email me at meredith@meredithactually.com!

Xoxo,

Meredith

Charlie

After taking a little hiatus from my dating app life, I thought I should get back on there and see what I’d been missing out on. Swiping left and swiping right here and there one Tuesday morning, with nothing major catching my eye, I came across Charlie. Ohhh I could already tell I liked Charlie. He had sandy blonde hair that was a perfect mess and beautiful blue grey eyes and a smile that I knew would get me in trouble. I’ve always loved trouble. His profile read like something out of my dreams: a writer, loved dogs, clearly sapiosexual, and a Scorpio (my weakness). I swiped right immediately and crossed my fingers that we’d match. My day went on and as I was winding down with answering emails my phone lit up with a Bumble notification stating that I had a new connection.

 

It was Charlie.

 

I messaged him immediately, trying to seem cool and intellectual but really I was so thirsty I couldn’t contain myself. We messaged back and forth a bit and it became clear that Charlie and I were absolutely on the same wavelength. He had been a writer for a popular CW show and was now in the world of acting and freelance, and as we began talking about our writing endeavors it became clear we were basically the same person. We made plans to get drinks that Friday night, unless either of us became free earlier in the week. Not but an hour later my Wednesday night plans cancelled, his night became free, and we made plans to meet at a cute wine bar called Terroni on Beverly.

 

I hadn’t been this excited about a date in a while. I was staying at my friend Jessica’s place for a little while as I was in the process of moving, and I excitedly got ready while filling her in on every detail of the conversations that Charlie and I had. She helped me to make sure I had just the right amount of tits showing and I was on my way to the wine bar. Charlie was there before me at the end of the bar. Jesus Christ he was so cute. I smiled my best smile and he greeted me with a hug and we sat down. I slid my bar stool a little closer to him and I ordered a glass of wine. Right away, the conversation was amazing. No awkward pauses, we covered everything from past loves, to sex, to professional aspirations. The man sitting next to us had ordered an entire pizza and offered us each a slice. Charlie, a glass of sparkling rose, and a slice of pizza–that was basically my version of heaven right then. As the evening went on we became more affectionate toward each other, a hand on the arm, moving closer to one another, and finally it was closing time. It was early, so we decided to move to another bar nearby. As we walked down the sidewalk Charlie asked if he could kiss me. Obviously, I smiled and said yes.

 

It was like fucking fireworks. Completely electric.

 

I could have kissed Charlie all night. We made our way to the next bar for one last drink before calling it a night. Charlie drove me home to Jessica’s and gave me one more amazing, perfect kiss before we said goodnight. I couldn’t wait to see him again. I dozed off that night with a shit eating grin on my face. The next morning I woke up to a text from Charlie that said “I promise I brushed my teeth, but I can still taste you.” Well goddamn, Charlie, way to make a girl’s knees buckle. This guy was intensely swoon-worthy, and I started to think uh oh. What am I gonna do? I knew that at this point in time I was not emotionally available for a relationship, and I knew that he wasn’t either, but the chemistry and connection were totally undeniable. This wouldn’t be just sex or something casual. But since I don’t know how to listen to my brain, I invited Charlie to a comedy show where my friends would be that night, and he accepted.

 

Charlie offered to pick me up, which in the days of taking an uber or lyft everywhere we go and the total informal dating landscape we’re in, I found to be so charming and sweet. I was on the other side of town so I declined, but he met me at the show, greeted me with one of those signature kisses, and I introduced him to some of my friends. We had a great time laughing and flirting, and my friends all seemed to like him. When the show was over we stepped outside for a minute and Charlie came in for the kiss again. I don’t know where the hell that man learned to kiss, but he could teach a fucking master class. After he kissed me he whispered into my ear “I’ve been thinking about licking your pussy all day.”

 

OK TIME TO GO.

 

We said bye to my friends, Charlie opened the car door for me and we were off to his place in Hollywood. As we entered his apartment, he grabbed us each a glass of water and we went into his room. Standing, he began to kiss me. Slowly, but deliberately. He led me toward the bed and I sat down. He got down on his knees and began to unzip my boots and slipped them off my feet. He slowly ran his hands up my inner thighs, pushing my dress up slightly to reveal that I wasn’t wearing any panties. A smile spread across his face and he said “you’re such a good girl” as he pushed me back further onto the bed. The man had hardly even touched me and it was like a waterfall between my legs. I didn’t think I could be any more turned on, when he began lightly kissing my inner thighs and just barely grazing across my south mouth, teasing me for what seemed like an eternity. He locked eyes with me and went for it. Holyyyyyyyy fuck. I think I came in record time and it seemed like I couldn’t stop. It was fucking amazing. Yet another thing Charlie needed to teach a master class on, eating pussy. The orgasm went on and on and he just kept going. He then pushed the rest of my dress up and pulled it off over my head, held his body over mine and just barely touched his lips to mine and said “such a good girl” before kissing me deeply again. He’d pulled his shirt off at some point, clearly I was having too much of a good time to notice when, but his body was sexy and lean and I ran my fingers down his chest and abs as he slipped off his pants and boxer briefs. He pulled me up onto my knees and ran his hands over my entire body, and marveled over my tits.

 

“I’m not even a tits man, but goddamn yours are amazing.”

 

Listen up guys, complimenting a woman like that while she’s naked and vulnerable is a sure-fire way to get some excellent sex. I began kissing his chest and worked my way down to his dick which was fully hard already. He had a great dick, not too big, not too small, like literally perfect sized. I began going down on him and he let out a moan of satisfaction. After a minute or two he grabbed me and pulled me back up to kiss him and I looked him in the eyes and said “fuck me.”

 

And Charlie did just that. He grabbed a condom, threw me down on the bed, and fucked me stupid. Hands in my hair, telling me what a good girl I was every time I came, bending me over and slapping my ass. At one point when he had me bent over he leaned in and whispered in my ear “I think you like being fucked like a bad girl don’t you?” GOOD LORD CHARLIE YES I DO. Charlie pulled my hair with just the exact right amount of force that I like, made me cum again, flipped me back over onto my back, kissed me deeply then pulled his head back and came, hard.

 

Sweaty, exhausted, and ultimately satisfied, we decided to hop into the shower together to rinse off. It wasn’t even sexual in the shower, just nice, intimate, and relaxing. We both got out, dried off and went to lay back in his bed. Charlie played with my hair a little bit, we talked about what we each had going on that weekend and following week, kissed a little, and then it was time for me to go because we both had early mornings. We both had busy weekends and I was going out-of-town the following week so we weren’t sure when we’d be able to see each other again, but we knew we had to because the chemistry was unreal.

 

Unfortunately, that was kind of the problem too.

 

Charlie and I texted throughout the following week, and I began to think, oh no, I like this boy FAR too much for what I’m ready for right now. But I’m not one to let something like that slip away, so I planned to see him again anyway. I was already crazy about him. I couldn’t get him off my mind, which scared me a little, but I didn’t care. And even worse, I knew he wasn’t emotionally available either, but like the idiot I am, I persisted, with the hope that maybe he’d become available but knowing full well that’s not how that works and that I’d probably get hurt. But sometimes the high is worth the comedown. At least that’s what I tell myself when I do molly.

 

Hoe tip: without the lows, the highs aren’t nearly as fun. Embrace them.

 

I’d been partying out-of-town all weekend and I knew Charlie had stuff going on, so I didn’t worry too much when he didn’t respond to my last text right away, but then he finally responded that following Monday.

 

“Hey sorry for the delayed response. Crazy couple days. This is going to sound crazy coming from this hypersexual straight guy, but would you mind if we just be friends? It’s insane that I am saying that, and I hardly believe it myself, but I’ve been having anxiety issues for the first time ever in my life and I think it’s healthiest for me not to complicate my friendships with sex. At least right now and until I get my head on straight. It’s all me, you’re incredibly sexy, I had an incredible time being naked with you and I enjoy your company too much to not at least be friends. I just have to leave my dick out of the equation for a minute for the sake of my mental health.”

 

Ugh. Dammit Charlie. I couldn’t be mad at him, because I completely understood and have been there before. And I knew damn well going in that he wasn’t emotionally available, just as I wasn’t really. I thought maybe he felt the same way that I did and knew he was not in the right place mentally for that. Or maybe I was reading too much into it and am a total narcissist for thinking that way. But whatever the reason, Charlie and I would just have to be friends. At least for a while. Charlie and I are still friends, and I know that I could talk to him about anything, without fear of judgement and I know he’d give me truthful, honest feedback too. I even asked him if I could write about him, and he said to go for it. Maybe one day Charlie and I can be more than friends. Or maybe we can be friends with benefits. Or something. Who knows. At the end of the day I’m so glad I met Charlie. Not just because the sex was some of the best I’ve ever had in my life, but because he taught me about self-preservation in a way that I’ve always been pretty irresponsible about. I respect that about him a lot. So thank you, Charlie, you’re one of my favorites.

 

Ask Meredith!

Here’s this week’s Q&A!

 

Q: I’ve been married for a fucking long time now. In fact, next summer is our 15th anniversary, 13 of which we’ve been legally obliged to one another. Kids n’ all. Don’t know if it was the youths insecurity or what, but I’ve tried it all with my hubby. Every position, every mainstream kinky stuff and some of the hardcore stuff.
From the beginning he was very keen to have butt sex and tried we did. After two weeks of dating that was and guess it was such a superior ass that he insisted on having more. And more. And more.
….And more. After fifteen years, he still fantasies, and proposes anal. And I give it to him plenty. Almost weekly. It’s always somewhat pleasurable for me also but man, I wish I could fuck a guy who is all about pussy. I go down on him regularly, few times a week, he rarely returns the favor. I’d ride him with vag-massage ’till dawn and he talks dirty, butt talk, how much he likes my ass and would like to nut in it. Usually I take my pleasure and let him have his in my ass.
I exercise and am super tight inside. Had some insecurities in that department once so got a regime and now I can pretty much suck and massage with my vajayjay. He enjoys it alright, but it’s always second best. He just prefers anal.
Tried to talk it out with him but am now fantasising of a real pussy eater, who’d fuck me senseless and enjoy it for what it is, and not expecting anal at the end.
Should I try and get some or stay faithful to my butt-fixated man?

A: Kudos to you for still being adventurous after being together for so long! This is a tough call because it’s great that you still have a very active sex life and I think many couples who have been together for as long as you have can’t say the same. I think another conversation is warranted. I do not advocate cheating on your partner. But he needs to understand that he is not fulfilling your needs sexually and that these are your fantasies. I don’t like to use sex as a bargaining chip, but maybe be less accommodating. Show him the same courtesy that he is showing you and perhaps he’ll start to get it. Keep the lines of communication open and be clear to him about what you want. Good luck!

 

Q: Hi. I really think im undersized because I have a skinny dick. It’s maybe 7 inches but its like two fingers thick only. Girls keep telling me its big enough when I’m asking and they seem to enjoy it, but it still kinda bothers me that the internet said it’s thin. Idk only one girl I stay close with said if I’m feeling uncomfortable I should thicken up my dick with a surgery.. what should I do?

A: We all have things we’re self-conscious about physically speaking. I’m not a doctor or anything, but I’m not really sure I’d trust some dick surgery for that. If you’re having good sex and girls are enjoying it, then don’t worry. Men with all different penis sizes are able to please women in a variety of ways, be adventurous. Also, if you haven’t already, learn to eat pussy. 7 inches is above average, length-wise by the way.

 

Q:  So my one roommate habitually cheats on his gf, and turned her against me and my other roommate (there’s 3 of us). She’s super hot, super nice, and doesn’t deserve it. What should we do? We can’t tell her b/c we have to live with the guy, but at the same time he’s turned her against us (assumably to protect himself incase we tell her). Things have gotten so bad none of us will be home when they are there (he’s a real fuck). What would you do?

A: Roommate situations like that are never easy. As shitty as it is, it’s not really your business to tell her or to get involved in their relationship. If she was your friend separately from him, that would be one thing, but unfortunately if you’re just a bystander it’s probably best to stay out of it. Things like that have a way of working themselves out, he’s going to get caught at some point.  As far as your living situation goes, it’s your home too. Act like they’re not even there and go about your business. And if the tension continues be clear with your roommate that what he’s doing is shitty and that it’s not cool to make being at home uncomfortable for you two since you are paying rent too. I hope your lease is up soon and you can move on from living with the guy though, he sounds like a douche.

 

Q: I’m having a difficult time with leaving emotions at the door when it comes to sex? Whats your best advice for removing the emotions from sex when it’s all someone knows? That may be tough to answer but I’ve been through enough BS and heartbreak that I’m tired of the toll it takes on me emotionally. I’m in uncharted waters, please help.

A: Making the conscious decision not to get feelings involved in a sexual relationship is a lot more difficult for some people than others. If you’ve always had an emotional connection to the person you’re having sex with, it will be difficult to have sex with someone who is just a casual parter with no strings. I’m not one that struggles with that, so my advice may be easier said than done, but try to separate the act of sex from dating and relationships. Seek out sexual partners that are open to casual sex and not interested in a romantic relationship. Be clear up front about those kinds of expectations and then you’re less likely to get too involved and hurt.

 

Q: What are some tips for going down on a girl?

A: Every woman is different in what they like and how they are shaped in the vag area. So it’s very important to be attentive and intuitive. Teasing the inner thighs and very lightly across the lips is a great way to build up the anticipation and turn a woman on immensely. Pay attention to how she responds to certain kinds of touch and in what areas. Find the clitoris. *A little louder for the people in the back* FIND THE CLITORIS. That’s how you’re gonna make her cum from oral. Don’t get too aggressive on it right out the gates, personally I prefer lighter touch as I’m very sensitive. Starting out lighter and slower is a good way to gauge what she likes, increasing in intensity to her liking. Pay attention to her breathing and physical responses and listen to her. Also, use your fingers internally to massage the g spot. This combo is like dynamite. Use a combination of licking and sucking on the clit as well, and when she cums don’t stop until she tells you to.

 

That’s all for today, send me your questions via the contact page here or via email at meredith@meredithactually.com!

 

Xoxo,

Meredith

Ask Meredith!

Here’s this week’s Q&A y’all!

Q:  So my best friend (nearly 20+ years) was cheating on his current girlfriend with someone I’ve been friends with for a long time. He breaks up with his gf and starts dating the chick he was cheating with. Obviously it doesn’t work out and he goes back to his girlfriend who takes him back (don’t ask). Well some time goes by and he accuses me of hooking up with the chick he was cheating on his girlfriend with. I tell him it never happened but he just doesn’t buy it and is convinced that I’m fucking the chick he was cheating on his gf with. Now he won’t talk to me, and is telling people that I’m a liar and that I’m hiding shit. I don’t know what to do. He refuses to listen to what I say and quite honestly is being a huge asshole. What should I do?

A: I know this guy is your friend, but he sounds like a douche. First of all, even if you were fucking that girl, who the hell cares? But secondly, there really isn’t a lot you can do when someone refuses to believe the truth. You can really only stick to your story and people who know and care about you will believe you. Your friend here has the classic guilty conscience thing going on: accusing others of bad behavior to make him feel better about is indiscretions. Unfortunately you’re just going to have to let him get over it and all you can do is stand by your actions (or lack thereof). Also get the girl to corroborate your story if nothing really happened. Other than that, you really can’t do much at this point.

 

Q:  I have been dating this girl for just under two years now. She is in the Navy. We got news in December of this past year that she will be getting deployed to go to Bahrain in June for one year. We have mutually decided that while she’s away, we are both allowed to do as we please for the most part (There are some boundaries that we have in place). So basically, we each have a one year ‘hall pass’ I suppose. I’ve told a few friends about our plans. Some support it and have a “if it works for you, go for it” type of attitude. And others are not so supportive and tell me that it will not work the way we envision it to work. What do you think? Are we nuts? Or f*** what other people who have a different set of morals?

A: I think  you guys are being realistic about being apart for that long. I do not believe that being monogamous and faithful in a situation like that works for most people. What usually happens is somebody cheats or you both wind up so frustrated and resentful that things aren’t the same in your relationship. Everyone has needs. If you two have agreed on some ground rules and things, I think you’re making the right decision for your relationship. Fuck what other people have to say, it’s YOUR relationship.
Q: Okay so I met this girl about a year and half ago. We hit it off really well and caught feelings really fast. She told me right away she was married and had a kid. I told her I didn’t mind it because supposedly her marriage was abusive, no more connection, and was about to go through a divorce. We continued to talk but then her lies started. One after another. I caught her on a date, she said they were talking about the divorce but later confessed about him moving back in. More lies happened and my dumbass continued to forgive her because I was so in love and have a big heart. This weekend I found out she’s pregnant and it’s not my child. It’s her “ex’s”. I have no idea what to do. I’ve invested so much into her and us and even her kid. She’s been through A LOT with me. How do I let her go if I’ve fallen so deep in love her?
A:  To be blunt, she’s been playing you. That SUCKS and I’m sorry to say, but yeah. She never intended to leave her husband, that’s kind of how that shit goes. I think it’s extremely fucked up of her to involve her child in her extra-marital relationship like that, and should  be a pretty good indication of how selfish of a person she appears to be. But I get it man, when you fall in love with someone you’re able to overlook a LOT. It sounds like you’re a good guy, you deserve someone who is going to be genuine with you and not string you along in the way she has. Cut off all contact with her. Block her #, delete it from your phone, and take some time to yourself. Being in a toxic relationship based on lies is way worse than being alone.

Q:  Why do they try and keep in touch?!? After getting out of a very fucked up relationship I started dating a guy who had been single for 5 years had not seen any girl more than a hand full of times. I mean I know what the hell was i thinking?!

We date for 5 months not official, I end it after he goes for drinks with a girl he went to school with and hasn’t seen in 10 years. Nothing happened so we carry on meeting up for the next 6/7 weeks. Then he tells me they are going cinema on Friday but it is a date. I am in his bed Friday morning kisses me goodbye says see you tomorrow and he gets with her Friday night. I know what a cunt….

He is still texting me?! Trying to make jokes and act how we would usually be while giving the standard man bullshit I genuinely cared about you, I never wanted to hurt you… oh well why did you talk this bitch for 90% of the time we were together behind my back and not admit how you felt!!!

I have now requested he never contact me again, he’s agreed but again with the despite what you may think I don’t regret our time together, you weren’t to past the time until she wanted me yadda yadda bullshit!!!! Swearing off them for life

A:  You’re not going to like what I have to say, but you need to hear it. He didn’t do anything wrong. By remaining “not official” you left the door open for him to date other people, and to be perfectly honest he seems like he was being pretty decent by being up front with you and telling you about it. That’s dating, girlfriend! Just because he is casually seeing other people doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you, you were giving him exactly what he wanted, so why would he want to ruin things by making it “official?” If you don’t want a guy to sleep with or see other people, you have to have a DTR (define the relationship) conversation. Guys, that goes for women too! If I’m dating someone I’m going to do as I please with whomever I want until we mutually agree to boundaries in the relationship. It’s probably best that you don’t see this guy again because you are more emotionally invested than he is, but at the end of the day he really didn’t do anything wrong, you had some expectations about the nature of your relationship that you didn’t clearly communicate.
Q:  I’ve been seeing a guy for a year now, nothing serious, kinda just went with the flow. We are both always working so we’ll grab dinner or hangout whenever we have a chance. The catch is, we’ve had this going on for basically over a year and I not once saw myself really WITH him. Yet he stuck around till last month when I FINALLY decided to have sex with him. (Which was wild & I def regret making him wait but I wasn’t feeling it then & I was already fulfilling my needs else where) I’m not one to catch feelings easily but lately I feel like I might be getting attached. Part of me says it’s just the sex since none of these feelings were there before the sex but he’s also never been one to show any emotional attachment so I’m not sure what to do?! I mean I’m guessing the vibe is there since we both stuck around for this long without the sex but how do I ask him if we’re on the same page without it sounding like I’m asking for a title?
A:  Damn girl, he stuck around THAT long without getting any pussy?? He likes you. No guy stays interested for that long without getting sex unless he values the time he spends with you in some way. If you continue to see each other and sleep together, try increasing the amount of time you spend together and see how things go. And don’t be afraid to ask him if he’s seeing anyone else, you have the right to know if your sexual partner is fucking other people just from a health and safety standpoint. It’s hard for me to say how to ask him if he’s feeling the same way because I don’t know the way he acts around you or anything, but if he mirrors your actions then there is a good chance he is on the same page. Let him know you’re really enjoying spending time with him, and just go with the flow, then revisit the idea of where things are going in maybe a month or so.
That’s it for this week, but please keep sending your questions, I love hearing from you guys!! Visit the contact page to submit questions or email me at meredith@meredithactually.com
Xoxo,
Meredith