Here are this week’s questions from you guys! Keep em coming, y’all!
Q: Is the thickness (girth) more important than the actual length of a penis? Which would you prefer or which would you say is more important than the other? Men would love to excel in both measurements, but if women had to pick which is better the length or the thickness? Example: Would a 5 inch thick penis feel better than an 8 inch skinny penis?
A: I’ll start out by saying that I do not speak for all women. But personally, I prefer a solid girth over just a long dick. I’m pretty small inside and anything longer than around 8-8.5 inches hurts me in many positions. The g spot is also located only a few inches inside the vaginal wall, so you don’t technically need some giant anaconda to hit it right. But having decent girth is important. I don’t want it to just feel like you’ve got a finger in there!
Q: So I’ve always been a super sexual person. And open and proud about that. I got the hang of casual sex/dating and it was working well for me for a long time. But then, I had a bad batch of dudes. A few in a row who, for what ever reason, played me pretty hard by acting like our casual fling was meaningful, then, as soon as I’d start believing them, they’d bolt for the hills. Leaving me infuriated time and time again. And eventually I got to the point where I am now, which is I’m basically too jaded to date. If a guy pays me any attention Im immediately defensive and hostile. Basically, I’m a cunt to any guy who hits on me. And a cunt to guys who don’t. I’m just generally a cunt to guys. And the thought of letting a guy flirt with me enough to get me into bed, makes my skin crawl. I’ve never been this asexual, and it’s freaking me out. I guess my question is, have you ever been through this phase, and if so, did it pass on its own accord or did it take you being proactive about it? I wanna get back to loving having an active sex!
A: First of all, I’m so sorry you’re going through this! I can completely related on being too jaded to date. Bad relationships, bad dating experiences, and just all around bad men can make any woman say “fuck it” and throw her hands up. I’ve been there. But instead of being hostile, or being on the defensive, try taking the approach of a man. I always say that I date like a man. I make the first move in many cases, or if I don’t, I clearly define what the situation is going to be and how it will benefit me. Take ownership of the situation instead of allowing it to happen. I love dating apps for this, especially Bumble, because it literally forces you to make the first move. Be direct, be clear, be friendly, and in my experience men will respond very favorably to the confidence and to a woman being clear in her intentions. Get out there and get some dick, girl!
Q: I’m a newly single 33-year-old successful business woman living in Sacramento, CA. I went through the typical newly single transformation and lost a bunch of weight, got a glam team together to keep up my spray tan, lash extensions, hair extensions and overall general appearance. I live downtown in one of the trendiest neighborhoods but I’m still having trouble meeting guys. I’ve been dating a guy for a few months but he’s very busy with building his career, and like most girls I require a lot of attention. I thought because I have all these things going for me (awesome career, banging body, glam squad) that guys would flock to me but it’s just not happening. I’ve been out of the dating scene for 4 years so I’ve never used dating apps and was really really against them but now I’m wondering if I’m not getting any guys because they just don’t walk up to girls and talk to them anymore. Do I have to use a dating app to meet guys these days? What apps would you recommend?
A: Dating these days is so weird. As I’ve mentioned a few times I was married and I was with my ex for 6 years–since before dating apps existed. I was so out of the game. I immediately hopped on Tinder, and went on several dates from it, some hits, some misses, added Bumble into the mix, got rid of both of them and then what I found was that men don’t approach women in a bar anymore. It’s just not the way we’ve been socialized since the invention of dating apps. Dating is HARD AS FUCK today because it’s like we’ve got infinite selection at our fingertips. That said, I’m totally a fan of Bumble. The woman has to make the first move so you have a little more control over the situation, and I’ve met several super hot guys. Bumble is also extremely female friendly; if a man exhibits some shitty behavior (i.e. sending an unsolicited dick pic through the app, or being an asshole when messaging) you can report his profile and Bumble will actually disable the guy’s account. I’ve even made some incredible friends through dating apps, give them a shot!
Q: Sometimes if it gets hot and heavy, I usually want to bust my load after a bit. I can hold it for a long time with that feeling, but I get distracted from her pleasure. Should I just start off by getting one off early and telling her that, because I can stay hard and it takes plenty of time, like an hour before I need to explode and take a break. Or should I play it by ear and see how easily she cums and decide then?
A: I have run into countless men who cum way too fast and I don’t get mine, and it’s beyond annoying. Jerk off before your girl comes over or before your date. You gotta get one outta the way so you can last a long time when the time comes to have sex. If you regularly can go for a long time, then don’t worry about it, but I highly recommend masturbating (for both men AND women) before a date. Not only do you ensure that you can last (for men) and that you get off (for women) but you also don’t have clouded judgment going in and know for sure if you really want to have sex with this person or if you’re just horny.
Q: So I went on a 3rd date with my favorite tinder dude. We met up at his place and there was a used condom on his floor! I got super awkward, but ultimately still went on the date. What would you have done?
A: Okay, I applaud him for being safe and if you’re just casually seeing each other/sleeping together he is well within his right to be sleeping with other people BUT WHAT THE FUCK DUDE? That is gross! Clean your goddamn room bro, who leaves used condoms just casually lying around?? I’d have called him out immediately for being gross. Not gross for fucking other people, but gross for leaving that shit laying around. If he reacted by being embarrassed and having no idea it was there, then alright, he gets a pass, but if he laughs it off I’m grossed out just for sanitary reasons. It’s not that hard to throw away your cum-filled condom after fucking someone, man.
If you’ve got some sex/dating/life questions you think I can answer feel free to head to my contact page and ask me anything or shoot me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org!