Be My Crush!

Starting TODAY I’ll be selecting one lucky guy and one lucky lady each week to be my #ManCrushMonday and #WomanCrushWednesday (respectively). Want to be my crush? Want your pic on my IG? Want to nominate someone you think is pretty great and needs to get laid? Send you or your nominee’s name, short bio, IG handle (must have a public IG account), and a picture (no nudity please), and I’ll notify the lucky guy/girl on their respective crush day! 18+ only, please send submissions to me at meredith@meredithactually.com with “MCM” or “WCW” in the subject line, or you can use my contact submission form. Good luck!

Xoxo,

Meredith

Ask Meredith!

Back with a Q&A for y’all!

 

Q:  I am dating a girl that I met a little over 5 months ago when I was on a business trip. Trouble is, she lives in Canada. And the longer our relationship goes on, the more difficult our relationship becomes. As if being in a long distance relationship weren’t enough, I’m in the Navy. Which brings an entirely new set of difficulties. We get along great and when we’re together, everything is perfect. When we’re apart, especially for more than a couple of weeks, she starts to get crazy. Like, gets mad at me for nothing (I’m pretty sure she has multiple personalities). I’m getting ready to transfer and we’re considering her moving with me. We’re only going to be able to live together for about 3-4 months before we literally have a life changing decision to make. We either have to get engaged and start the process of her becoming an American citizen, or she has to go back to Canada for another 120 days. I’ve been married twice now and I really am hesitant to make it a third time, especially if I feel like it’s something I have to do. It really is the only way for our relationship to continue though and I don’t know if I’m making the right decision. I hate breaking hearts, but I also hate wasting my time on love. What should I do?

A: To be honest, there seem to be way more cons to this situation than pros. This is an easy one to me, break up. It really doesn’t seem worth it and nobody should get married out of obligation. If at some point when you’re out of the Navy things have a way to work out without you basically being forced to marry her, then great, but at this point it seems like a whole lot more trouble than it’s worth.

 

Q:  So I have a few women I sleep with on a regular basis. I’m not in a relationship with any of them but that doesnt mean that I wouldn’t consider it with them. I asked one, the one I feel I’m closest to since we’ve been friends for a couple of years, if she thought this was going anywhere. Her response kinda floored me, she said that she thought it was pretty clear that it was implied that it was just about the sex.

Not to go too in-depth, but my size is quite large in the girth department. It’s just slightly smaller than a beer can. So I’ve had women in the past who sleep with me for the novelty of that and because of *other* talents. I get that, and obviously at the time I was okay with it so I can’t complain, but that was college and right after. I’m years past that life and at the point where partying every weekend doesnt take priority anymore.   Though after subtle questions and talking to some of the others I found out that they all have basically the same sentiment. They don’t want to be with me on any other level. So I’m conflicted on where to go next, I don’t want to cut them off because some are friends, one is even in my main group of friends and we’ve been hiding our actions from the rest. But I want something more and I’m starting to feel like I’m an object to them. Do you think it’s best to end it with them and deal with the possible fallout? I feel like I won’t be able to find what I’m looking for if I have other women hitting me up on a regular basis, but I’m still worried about losing these people outside of the bedroom.
A: I don’t really see any need to cut off casual sexual partners unless you actually find someone you want to date. You can slowly distance yourself sexually from them, but it doesn’t make any sense to give up your sex life because you would like to find someone to date. That said, be honest with your friends. Let them know you’re looking for something a little more serious so that they are aware that you are seeking out other women. I have men that I sleep with regularly, but if someone else came along that I was interested in actually dating I would have no problem telling them that I would like to see where things go with someone so I think it would be best if we didn’t sleep together anymore. At the end of the day, you don’t have to have sex with someone if you don’t want to, and your sex life as a single guy should not have any bearing on a potential dating relationship with someone new.
Q: I had a really good friends with benefits going, we were SO sexually compatible, he made me cum like 15 times in 6 rounds of sex. I’ve never met someone who I’ve been this sexually compatible with, but we were also pretty good friends. And so we had it going for like 3 months and then all of a sudden communication on his side just abruptly ended. Every time I reached out, I got nothing back and eventually called him out on it to which he said he was just grumpy for a couple of weeks and we could still meet up in the summer. I told him I needed the communication in this fwb to keep the trust going, no feelings involved I just need to trust the other person.

But since that last discussion (Early April) there’s been no communication either way. I really just need some good dick but I’m having a hard time swallowing my pride and messaging him again to see if he wants to. Do you think it’s worth messaging again or should I just cut my losses?

A: To be honest, it sounds like he’s fucking someone else and doesn’t want to tell you. And even if he isn’t, communication is very important with any kind of sexual partner, so I would cut my losses and move on to some new dick if I were you. His behavior is rude and you shouldn’t be stifling yourself sexually just because he doesn’t want to man up and tell you what his deal is.
Q: I had this tinder date at my place, he was super hot. We kissed and talked and had dinner, and at some point I asked him what he was thinking of. He answered that he didn’t think we should sleep together because he really likes me. That kinda weirded me out, but I was pleased at the same time. And then again we were chilling and he says “I wanna fuck you so bad but that would downplay this night.” So he said he would have seen me again even if we’d slept together, I said I didn’t believe that, and he said “you should but I will see you again.” Well did a little stalking and found out he has a girlfriend in LA. Texted him that he’s a shitty person, he agreed and apologized. But now, should I tell her?
A: BLOW. UP. HIS. SPOT. I am a firm believer in exposing a cheater. I recently had a situation in which I was dating a man and found out that he was married, so I told his wife when I found out. I have been cheated on and I would like to have been told when it first happened rather than it continue on with me looking stupid. Tell the girlfriend, be sure to keep screenshots of conversations with the guy in the event that she doesn’t believe you or tries to blame you. I don’t support liars or cheaters, expose his ass.
Q: This isn’t like a sex question or anything, but how do you get your skin so clear and even?? What kind of skincare routine do you have? I feel like everything I try works for a little while and then my skin gets broken out again. Any tips?
A: First, thank you! So one thing that makes a really big difference, which I’m sure the majority of women reading this are not going to want to hear, is that I don’t wear makeup. Aside from my musical theatre days, I have never really worn foundation or anything. Sometimes for a special occasion, but even then the extent of my makeup is maybe a little concealer under my eyes or if I have a blemish or something, and then eye makeup (eyeliner and mascara). So my pores stay pretty clear all the time. I use a Burt’s Bees moisturizer with SPF, and I mix coconut oil with brown sugar for an exfoliant. Wipe off the excess with a warm washcloth and massage the rest into your skin. Oil cleansing sounds counter-intuitive but one huge reason people break out is because washing with a soap strips the skin of its natural oils, forcing you to over-produce to make up for it and that clogs your pores. I rarely use an actual soap on my face, and when I do I prefer something as natural as possible like Burt’s Bees. Otherwise I just use a makeup wipe for my eyes and rarely actually wash my face (if you wear makeup then obviously you want to remove your makeup daily). I always wear a hat when I’m in the sun too to keep it off my face, and I drink a lot of water. I’m also part Native American, so genetically I’ve got a little bit of an edge there, but letting your skin breathe is huge! My skin has never looked better than when I stopped using chemicals and started oil cleansing.
That’s all for this week, remember you can send me all your questions in the contact submission form on my page or at meredith@meredithactually.com!
Xoxo,
Meredith

 

Charlie

After taking a little hiatus from my dating app life, I thought I should get back on there and see what I’d been missing out on. Swiping left and swiping right here and there one Tuesday morning, with nothing major catching my eye, I came across Charlie. Ohhh I could already tell I liked Charlie. He had sandy blonde hair that was a perfect mess and beautiful blue grey eyes and a smile that I knew would get me in trouble. I’ve always loved trouble. His profile read like something out of my dreams: a writer, loved dogs, clearly sapiosexual, and a Scorpio (my weakness). I swiped right immediately and crossed my fingers that we’d match. My day went on and as I was winding down with answering emails my phone lit up with a Bumble notification stating that I had a new connection.

 

It was Charlie.

 

I messaged him immediately, trying to seem cool and intellectual but really I was so thirsty I couldn’t contain myself. We messaged back and forth a bit and it became clear that Charlie and I were absolutely on the same wavelength. He had been a writer for a popular CW show and was now in the world of acting and freelance, and as we began talking about our writing endeavors it became clear we were basically the same person. We made plans to get drinks that Friday night, unless either of us became free earlier in the week. Not but an hour later my Wednesday night plans cancelled, his night became free, and we made plans to meet at a cute wine bar called Terroni on Beverly.

 

I hadn’t been this excited about a date in a while. I was staying at my friend Jessica’s place for a little while as I was in the process of moving, and I excitedly got ready while filling her in on every detail of the conversations that Charlie and I had. She helped me to make sure I had just the right amount of tits showing and I was on my way to the wine bar. Charlie was there before me at the end of the bar. Jesus Christ he was so cute. I smiled my best smile and he greeted me with a hug and we sat down. I slid my bar stool a little closer to him and I ordered a glass of wine. Right away, the conversation was amazing. No awkward pauses, we covered everything from past loves, to sex, to professional aspirations. The man sitting next to us had ordered an entire pizza and offered us each a slice. Charlie, a glass of sparkling rose, and a slice of pizza–that was basically my version of heaven right then. As the evening went on we became more affectionate toward each other, a hand on the arm, moving closer to one another, and finally it was closing time. It was early, so we decided to move to another bar nearby. As we walked down the sidewalk Charlie asked if he could kiss me. Obviously, I smiled and said yes.

 

It was like fucking fireworks. Completely electric.

 

I could have kissed Charlie all night. We made our way to the next bar for one last drink before calling it a night. Charlie drove me home to Jessica’s and gave me one more amazing, perfect kiss before we said goodnight. I couldn’t wait to see him again. I dozed off that night with a shit eating grin on my face. The next morning I woke up to a text from Charlie that said “I promise I brushed my teeth, but I can still taste you.” Well goddamn, Charlie, way to make a girl’s knees buckle. This guy was intensely swoon-worthy, and I started to think uh oh. What am I gonna do? I knew that at this point in time I was not emotionally available for a relationship, and I knew that he wasn’t either, but the chemistry and connection were totally undeniable. This wouldn’t be just sex or something casual. But since I don’t know how to listen to my brain, I invited Charlie to a comedy show where my friends would be that night, and he accepted.

 

Charlie offered to pick me up, which in the days of taking an uber or lyft everywhere we go and the total informal dating landscape we’re in, I found to be so charming and sweet. I was on the other side of town so I declined, but he met me at the show, greeted me with one of those signature kisses, and I introduced him to some of my friends. We had a great time laughing and flirting, and my friends all seemed to like him. When the show was over we stepped outside for a minute and Charlie came in for the kiss again. I don’t know where the hell that man learned to kiss, but he could teach a fucking master class. After he kissed me he whispered into my ear “I’ve been thinking about licking your pussy all day.”

 

OK TIME TO GO.

 

We said bye to my friends, Charlie opened the car door for me and we were off to his place in Hollywood. As we entered his apartment, he grabbed us each a glass of water and we went into his room. Standing, he began to kiss me. Slowly, but deliberately. He led me toward the bed and I sat down. He got down on his knees and began to unzip my boots and slipped them off my feet. He slowly ran his hands up my inner thighs, pushing my dress up slightly to reveal that I wasn’t wearing any panties. A smile spread across his face and he said “you’re such a good girl” as he pushed me back further onto the bed. The man had hardly even touched me and it was like a waterfall between my legs. I didn’t think I could be any more turned on, when he began lightly kissing my inner thighs and just barely grazing across my south mouth, teasing me for what seemed like an eternity. He locked eyes with me and went for it. Holyyyyyyyy fuck. I think I came in record time and it seemed like I couldn’t stop. It was fucking amazing. Yet another thing Charlie needed to teach a master class on, eating pussy. The orgasm went on and on and he just kept going. He then pushed the rest of my dress up and pulled it off over my head, held his body over mine and just barely touched his lips to mine and said “such a good girl” before kissing me deeply again. He’d pulled his shirt off at some point, clearly I was having too much of a good time to notice when, but his body was sexy and lean and I ran my fingers down his chest and abs as he slipped off his pants and boxer briefs. He pulled me up onto my knees and ran his hands over my entire body, and marveled over my tits.

 

“I’m not even a tits man, but goddamn yours are amazing.”

 

Listen up guys, complimenting a woman like that while she’s naked and vulnerable is a sure-fire way to get some excellent sex. I began kissing his chest and worked my way down to his dick which was fully hard already. He had a great dick, not too big, not too small, like literally perfect sized. I began going down on him and he let out a moan of satisfaction. After a minute or two he grabbed me and pulled me back up to kiss him and I looked him in the eyes and said “fuck me.”

 

And Charlie did just that. He grabbed a condom, threw me down on the bed, and fucked me stupid. Hands in my hair, telling me what a good girl I was every time I came, bending me over and slapping my ass. At one point when he had me bent over he leaned in and whispered in my ear “I think you like being fucked like a bad girl don’t you?” GOOD LORD CHARLIE YES I DO. Charlie pulled my hair with just the exact right amount of force that I like, made me cum again, flipped me back over onto my back, kissed me deeply then pulled his head back and came, hard.

 

Sweaty, exhausted, and ultimately satisfied, we decided to hop into the shower together to rinse off. It wasn’t even sexual in the shower, just nice, intimate, and relaxing. We both got out, dried off and went to lay back in his bed. Charlie played with my hair a little bit, we talked about what we each had going on that weekend and following week, kissed a little, and then it was time for me to go because we both had early mornings. We both had busy weekends and I was going out-of-town the following week so we weren’t sure when we’d be able to see each other again, but we knew we had to because the chemistry was unreal.

 

Unfortunately, that was kind of the problem too.

 

Charlie and I texted throughout the following week, and I began to think, oh no, I like this boy FAR too much for what I’m ready for right now. But I’m not one to let something like that slip away, so I planned to see him again anyway. I was already crazy about him. I couldn’t get him off my mind, which scared me a little, but I didn’t care. And even worse, I knew he wasn’t emotionally available either, but like the idiot I am, I persisted, with the hope that maybe he’d become available but knowing full well that’s not how that works and that I’d probably get hurt. But sometimes the high is worth the comedown. At least that’s what I tell myself when I do molly.

 

Hoe tip: without the lows, the highs aren’t nearly as fun. Embrace them.

 

I’d been partying out-of-town all weekend and I knew Charlie had stuff going on, so I didn’t worry too much when he didn’t respond to my last text right away, but then he finally responded that following Monday.

 

“Hey sorry for the delayed response. Crazy couple days. This is going to sound crazy coming from this hypersexual straight guy, but would you mind if we just be friends? It’s insane that I am saying that, and I hardly believe it myself, but I’ve been having anxiety issues for the first time ever in my life and I think it’s healthiest for me not to complicate my friendships with sex. At least right now and until I get my head on straight. It’s all me, you’re incredibly sexy, I had an incredible time being naked with you and I enjoy your company too much to not at least be friends. I just have to leave my dick out of the equation for a minute for the sake of my mental health.”

 

Ugh. Dammit Charlie. I couldn’t be mad at him, because I completely understood and have been there before. And I knew damn well going in that he wasn’t emotionally available, just as I wasn’t really. I thought maybe he felt the same way that I did and knew he was not in the right place mentally for that. Or maybe I was reading too much into it and am a total narcissist for thinking that way. But whatever the reason, Charlie and I would just have to be friends. At least for a while. Charlie and I are still friends, and I know that I could talk to him about anything, without fear of judgement and I know he’d give me truthful, honest feedback too. I even asked him if I could write about him, and he said to go for it. Maybe one day Charlie and I can be more than friends. Or maybe we can be friends with benefits. Or something. Who knows. At the end of the day I’m so glad I met Charlie. Not just because the sex was some of the best I’ve ever had in my life, but because he taught me about self-preservation in a way that I’ve always been pretty irresponsible about. I respect that about him a lot. So thank you, Charlie, you’re one of my favorites.

 

Official The Meredith Merch Available Now!!!

I’m so fuckin’ excited to release the first of many of my amazing shirts for you little basuritas to wear!! These two designs are available in multiple colors as well as in tank top and crop tee style for you to hoe in all summer long!! Click on the photo to link to the store!

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Ask Meredith!

Here’s this week’s Q&A!

 

Q: I’ve been seeing this girl for a couple of months now and I would say it’s getting to the point where it is serious, and because of certain hints dropped in conversation I’m beginning to worry that we don’t see eye to eye on important subjects. How does one broach the hot button issues that would absolutely be an issue? Is it best to just rip off the band-aid and ask, or wait until their opinions fully surface through natural conversation?

A: Take it from me, the last thing you want to do is be a couple of years down the road and more emotionally invested and then realize something is a total deal breaker. Rip off the band-aid. And be prepared to hear things you don’t want to hear. And be open to compromise on things as well. But be clear about your position and be respectful if she disagrees. It may suck to have to end something prematurely, but not as badly as ending a long-term relationship.

 

Q:  I have several issues that I’m having trouble resolving.
1. My wife left me because she admitted she didn’t love me. This has shattered my confidence.
2. I’m not an attractive man, looks wise, as hard as I try to be. I do what I can with what I have.
3. I suffer from severe approach anxiety where I have panic attacks if I try to go up to a girl I’m interested in and talk to her.
I feel like this is a formula for being single for life and I’m only 34. I don’t know what to do.

A: First I’m really sorry to hear about that. It’s always hard when someone we love leaves us, and we’re often left with major feelings of inadequacy. I know, I’ve been there. Work on that positive self talk. What are you good at? What areas of your life do you excel in? Channel that into other areas of your life. And also really stop and decide if you’re ready to date right now. It’s OKAY to take some time to yourself not to date and to work on yourself personally. When you’re ready to get back out there, keep it simple. Less is more when approaching a woman, give a small compliment and ask how she’s doing. Something I’ve learned over the years about confidence is sometimes you just have to fake it until it feels genuine. Good luck!

 

Q:  Hi Meredith! So, I just started seeing this guy. We’ll call him Q. We’ve been seeing each other for about a month and a half now. Nothing crazy, but this is the point in the “relationship” where I’m ready to know wtf is going on between us so I know if I’m wasting time or not. That being said, Q has mentioned before that he believes we’re “exclusive” but then a day later made a comment about how we’re just friends. He’s constantly making plans for us for when we’re both off work as if we’re dating, so I would like to believe that we are more than just FWB, especially because we don’t always have sex when we stay with each other. We’ve obviously had somewhat of the “what are we” convo, but there wasn’t any clarification from him. Should I try to have the conversation again and try to get a better understanding or should I just give up and stop letting him give me the run around?

A: I think it would be worth having the conversation again. If you’re becoming emotionally invested and he has alluded to being “exclusive” then you’re entitled to know where you’re going romantically. If he continues to give you the run around it would probably be best to cut things off for your sanity. I’ve been in a “relationship” like that and it ended with him getting a girlfriend behind my back and leaving me heartbroken. It’s unfair to string anyone along emotionally. Be direct in your questions so that he can’t skirt around the answer.

 

Q: Do guys ever turn you down? And if so, how do you handle it? I’m new to the dating game after getting out of a 7 year relationship and I’m really nervous about putting myself out there and potentially getting turned down. Any advice?

A: First of all, having a positive attitude is where it’s at! Don’t go in with the mentality that you might get turned down. Because guess what? You will. People can sense negativity and will gravitate away from it. Secondly, we all get turned down. You can’t take it personally. Everyone has their own personal preferences and we are all unattractive to someone. As someone with a background in sales I can tell you that with every no you become closer to a yes. It’s a numbers game. So brush it off and move on to the next one. Don’t let it shake your confidence! Take time to be confident in being alone as well, don’t lapse into a codependent behavior by jumping into another relationship right away.

 

Q: My boyfriend has recently been hinting at wanting to have a threesome with another woman, and I’m not really sure how I feel about it. I’ve never had one before or ever been with a girl, so I’m kind of nervous about that part. I really but I kind of feel like this is a way of him telling me that I’m not satisfying him in the bedroom. Should I be worried? Or should I relax and do it for him?

A: Talk to him. Express your concerns.  Communication is so important when it comes to anything in a relationship, especially when it comes to sexual exploration. There are a lot of variables here. How has your sex life been otherwise? Are there any other issues in the relationship? If things are going well and he is suggesting this, maybe he is just wanting to live out a fantasy. I know plenty of couples who have incorporated threesomes into their relationships and it’s enhanced their sex lives. That said I know plenty where it’s gone the other direction. If you voice your concerns and he is reassuring and understanding then I would take some more time to think about whether or not you really want to do it. If he is defensive at all, that’s a red flag. At the end of the day, your sex life is YOUR choice, and you do not have to do anything you are uncomfortable doing, no matter the reason.

 

That’s all for this week y’all, keep your questions coming! Fill out the contact submission form or email me at meredith@meredithactually.com!

Xoxo,

Meredith