Charlie

After taking a little hiatus from my dating app life, I thought I should get back on there and see what I’d been missing out on. Swiping left and swiping right here and there one Tuesday morning, with nothing major catching my eye, I came across Charlie. Ohhh I could already tell I liked Charlie. He had sandy blonde hair that was a perfect mess and beautiful blue grey eyes and a smile that I knew would get me in trouble. I’ve always loved trouble. His profile read like something out of my dreams: a writer, loved dogs, clearly sapiosexual, and a Scorpio (my weakness). I swiped right immediately and crossed my fingers that we’d match. My day went on and as I was winding down with answering emails my phone lit up with a Bumble notification stating that I had a new connection.

 

It was Charlie.

 

I messaged him immediately, trying to seem cool and intellectual but really I was so thirsty I couldn’t contain myself. We messaged back and forth a bit and it became clear that Charlie and I were absolutely on the same wavelength. He had been a writer for a popular CW show and was now in the world of acting and freelance, and as we began talking about our writing endeavors it became clear we were basically the same person. We made plans to get drinks that Friday night, unless either of us became free earlier in the week. Not but an hour later my Wednesday night plans cancelled, his night became free, and we made plans to meet at a cute wine bar called Terroni on Beverly.

 

I hadn’t been this excited about a date in a while. I was staying at my friend Jessica’s place for a little while as I was in the process of moving, and I excitedly got ready while filling her in on every detail of the conversations that Charlie and I had. She helped me to make sure I had just the right amount of tits showing and I was on my way to the wine bar. Charlie was there before me at the end of the bar. Jesus Christ he was so cute. I smiled my best smile and he greeted me with a hug and we sat down. I slid my bar stool a little closer to him and I ordered a glass of wine. Right away, the conversation was amazing. No awkward pauses, we covered everything from past loves, to sex, to professional aspirations. The man sitting next to us had ordered an entire pizza and offered us each a slice. Charlie, a glass of sparkling rose, and a slice of pizza–that was basically my version of heaven right then. As the evening went on we became more affectionate toward each other, a hand on the arm, moving closer to one another, and finally it was closing time. It was early, so we decided to move to another bar nearby. As we walked down the sidewalk Charlie asked if he could kiss me. Obviously, I smiled and said yes.

 

It was like fucking fireworks. Completely electric.

 

I could have kissed Charlie all night. We made our way to the next bar for one last drink before calling it a night. Charlie drove me home to Jessica’s and gave me one more amazing, perfect kiss before we said goodnight. I couldn’t wait to see him again. I dozed off that night with a shit eating grin on my face. The next morning I woke up to a text from Charlie that said “I promise I brushed my teeth, but I can still taste you.” Well goddamn, Charlie, way to make a girl’s knees buckle. This guy was intensely swoon-worthy, and I started to think uh oh. What am I gonna do? I knew that at this point in time I was not emotionally available for a relationship, and I knew that he wasn’t either, but the chemistry and connection were totally undeniable. This wouldn’t be just sex or something casual. But since I don’t know how to listen to my brain, I invited Charlie to a comedy show where my friends would be that night, and he accepted.

 

Charlie offered to pick me up, which in the days of taking an uber or lyft everywhere we go and the total informal dating landscape we’re in, I found to be so charming and sweet. I was on the other side of town so I declined, but he met me at the show, greeted me with one of those signature kisses, and I introduced him to some of my friends. We had a great time laughing and flirting, and my friends all seemed to like him. When the show was over we stepped outside for a minute and Charlie came in for the kiss again. I don’t know where the hell that man learned to kiss, but he could teach a fucking master class. After he kissed me he whispered into my ear “I’ve been thinking about licking your pussy all day.”

 

OK TIME TO GO.

 

We said bye to my friends, Charlie opened the car door for me and we were off to his place in Hollywood. As we entered his apartment, he grabbed us each a glass of water and we went into his room. Standing, he began to kiss me. Slowly, but deliberately. He led me toward the bed and I sat down. He got down on his knees and began to unzip my boots and slipped them off my feet. He slowly ran his hands up my inner thighs, pushing my dress up slightly to reveal that I wasn’t wearing any panties. A smile spread across his face and he said “you’re such a good girl” as he pushed me back further onto the bed. The man had hardly even touched me and it was like a waterfall between my legs. I didn’t think I could be any more turned on, when he began lightly kissing my inner thighs and just barely grazing across my south mouth, teasing me for what seemed like an eternity. He locked eyes with me and went for it. Holyyyyyyyy fuck. I think I came in record time and it seemed like I couldn’t stop. It was fucking amazing. Yet another thing Charlie needed to teach a master class on, eating pussy. The orgasm went on and on and he just kept going. He then pushed the rest of my dress up and pulled it off over my head, held his body over mine and just barely touched his lips to mine and said “such a good girl” before kissing me deeply again. He’d pulled his shirt off at some point, clearly I was having too much of a good time to notice when, but his body was sexy and lean and I ran my fingers down his chest and abs as he slipped off his pants and boxer briefs. He pulled me up onto my knees and ran his hands over my entire body, and marveled over my tits.

 

“I’m not even a tits man, but goddamn yours are amazing.”

 

Listen up guys, complimenting a woman like that while she’s naked and vulnerable is a sure-fire way to get some excellent sex. I began kissing his chest and worked my way down to his dick which was fully hard already. He had a great dick, not too big, not too small, like literally perfect sized. I began going down on him and he let out a moan of satisfaction. After a minute or two he grabbed me and pulled me back up to kiss him and I looked him in the eyes and said “fuck me.”

 

And Charlie did just that. He grabbed a condom, threw me down on the bed, and fucked me stupid. Hands in my hair, telling me what a good girl I was every time I came, bending me over and slapping my ass. At one point when he had me bent over he leaned in and whispered in my ear “I think you like being fucked like a bad girl don’t you?” GOOD LORD CHARLIE YES I DO. Charlie pulled my hair with just the exact right amount of force that I like, made me cum again, flipped me back over onto my back, kissed me deeply then pulled his head back and came, hard.

 

Sweaty, exhausted, and ultimately satisfied, we decided to hop into the shower together to rinse off. It wasn’t even sexual in the shower, just nice, intimate, and relaxing. We both got out, dried off and went to lay back in his bed. Charlie played with my hair a little bit, we talked about what we each had going on that weekend and following week, kissed a little, and then it was time for me to go because we both had early mornings. We both had busy weekends and I was going out-of-town the following week so we weren’t sure when we’d be able to see each other again, but we knew we had to because the chemistry was unreal.

 

Unfortunately, that was kind of the problem too.

 

Charlie and I texted throughout the following week, and I began to think, oh no, I like this boy FAR too much for what I’m ready for right now. But I’m not one to let something like that slip away, so I planned to see him again anyway. I was already crazy about him. I couldn’t get him off my mind, which scared me a little, but I didn’t care. And even worse, I knew he wasn’t emotionally available either, but like the idiot I am, I persisted, with the hope that maybe he’d become available but knowing full well that’s not how that works and that I’d probably get hurt. But sometimes the high is worth the comedown. At least that’s what I tell myself when I do molly.

 

Hoe tip: without the lows, the highs aren’t nearly as fun. Embrace them.

 

I’d been partying out-of-town all weekend and I knew Charlie had stuff going on, so I didn’t worry too much when he didn’t respond to my last text right away, but then he finally responded that following Monday.

 

“Hey sorry for the delayed response. Crazy couple days. This is going to sound crazy coming from this hypersexual straight guy, but would you mind if we just be friends? It’s insane that I am saying that, and I hardly believe it myself, but I’ve been having anxiety issues for the first time ever in my life and I think it’s healthiest for me not to complicate my friendships with sex. At least right now and until I get my head on straight. It’s all me, you’re incredibly sexy, I had an incredible time being naked with you and I enjoy your company too much to not at least be friends. I just have to leave my dick out of the equation for a minute for the sake of my mental health.”

 

Ugh. Dammit Charlie. I couldn’t be mad at him, because I completely understood and have been there before. And I knew damn well going in that he wasn’t emotionally available, just as I wasn’t really. I thought maybe he felt the same way that I did and knew he was not in the right place mentally for that. Or maybe I was reading too much into it and am a total narcissist for thinking that way. But whatever the reason, Charlie and I would just have to be friends. At least for a while. Charlie and I are still friends, and I know that I could talk to him about anything, without fear of judgement and I know he’d give me truthful, honest feedback too. I even asked him if I could write about him, and he said to go for it. Maybe one day Charlie and I can be more than friends. Or maybe we can be friends with benefits. Or something. Who knows. At the end of the day I’m so glad I met Charlie. Not just because the sex was some of the best I’ve ever had in my life, but because he taught me about self-preservation in a way that I’ve always been pretty irresponsible about. I respect that about him a lot. So thank you, Charlie, you’re one of my favorites.

 

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I’m so fuckin’ excited to release the first of many of my amazing shirts for you little basuritas to wear!! These two designs are available in multiple colors as well as in tank top and crop tee style for you to hoe in all summer long!! Click on the photo to link to the store!

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Ask Meredith!

Here’s this week’s Q&A!

 

Q: I’ve been seeing this girl for a couple of months now and I would say it’s getting to the point where it is serious, and because of certain hints dropped in conversation I’m beginning to worry that we don’t see eye to eye on important subjects. How does one broach the hot button issues that would absolutely be an issue? Is it best to just rip off the band-aid and ask, or wait until their opinions fully surface through natural conversation?

A: Take it from me, the last thing you want to do is be a couple of years down the road and more emotionally invested and then realize something is a total deal breaker. Rip off the band-aid. And be prepared to hear things you don’t want to hear. And be open to compromise on things as well. But be clear about your position and be respectful if she disagrees. It may suck to have to end something prematurely, but not as badly as ending a long-term relationship.

 

Q:  I have several issues that I’m having trouble resolving.
1. My wife left me because she admitted she didn’t love me. This has shattered my confidence.
2. I’m not an attractive man, looks wise, as hard as I try to be. I do what I can with what I have.
3. I suffer from severe approach anxiety where I have panic attacks if I try to go up to a girl I’m interested in and talk to her.
I feel like this is a formula for being single for life and I’m only 34. I don’t know what to do.

A: First I’m really sorry to hear about that. It’s always hard when someone we love leaves us, and we’re often left with major feelings of inadequacy. I know, I’ve been there. Work on that positive self talk. What are you good at? What areas of your life do you excel in? Channel that into other areas of your life. And also really stop and decide if you’re ready to date right now. It’s OKAY to take some time to yourself not to date and to work on yourself personally. When you’re ready to get back out there, keep it simple. Less is more when approaching a woman, give a small compliment and ask how she’s doing. Something I’ve learned over the years about confidence is sometimes you just have to fake it until it feels genuine. Good luck!

 

Q:  Hi Meredith! So, I just started seeing this guy. We’ll call him Q. We’ve been seeing each other for about a month and a half now. Nothing crazy, but this is the point in the “relationship” where I’m ready to know wtf is going on between us so I know if I’m wasting time or not. That being said, Q has mentioned before that he believes we’re “exclusive” but then a day later made a comment about how we’re just friends. He’s constantly making plans for us for when we’re both off work as if we’re dating, so I would like to believe that we are more than just FWB, especially because we don’t always have sex when we stay with each other. We’ve obviously had somewhat of the “what are we” convo, but there wasn’t any clarification from him. Should I try to have the conversation again and try to get a better understanding or should I just give up and stop letting him give me the run around?

A: I think it would be worth having the conversation again. If you’re becoming emotionally invested and he has alluded to being “exclusive” then you’re entitled to know where you’re going romantically. If he continues to give you the run around it would probably be best to cut things off for your sanity. I’ve been in a “relationship” like that and it ended with him getting a girlfriend behind my back and leaving me heartbroken. It’s unfair to string anyone along emotionally. Be direct in your questions so that he can’t skirt around the answer.

 

Q: Do guys ever turn you down? And if so, how do you handle it? I’m new to the dating game after getting out of a 7 year relationship and I’m really nervous about putting myself out there and potentially getting turned down. Any advice?

A: First of all, having a positive attitude is where it’s at! Don’t go in with the mentality that you might get turned down. Because guess what? You will. People can sense negativity and will gravitate away from it. Secondly, we all get turned down. You can’t take it personally. Everyone has their own personal preferences and we are all unattractive to someone. As someone with a background in sales I can tell you that with every no you become closer to a yes. It’s a numbers game. So brush it off and move on to the next one. Don’t let it shake your confidence! Take time to be confident in being alone as well, don’t lapse into a codependent behavior by jumping into another relationship right away.

 

Q: My boyfriend has recently been hinting at wanting to have a threesome with another woman, and I’m not really sure how I feel about it. I’ve never had one before or ever been with a girl, so I’m kind of nervous about that part. I really but I kind of feel like this is a way of him telling me that I’m not satisfying him in the bedroom. Should I be worried? Or should I relax and do it for him?

A: Talk to him. Express your concerns.  Communication is so important when it comes to anything in a relationship, especially when it comes to sexual exploration. There are a lot of variables here. How has your sex life been otherwise? Are there any other issues in the relationship? If things are going well and he is suggesting this, maybe he is just wanting to live out a fantasy. I know plenty of couples who have incorporated threesomes into their relationships and it’s enhanced their sex lives. That said I know plenty where it’s gone the other direction. If you voice your concerns and he is reassuring and understanding then I would take some more time to think about whether or not you really want to do it. If he is defensive at all, that’s a red flag. At the end of the day, your sex life is YOUR choice, and you do not have to do anything you are uncomfortable doing, no matter the reason.

 

That’s all for this week y’all, keep your questions coming! Fill out the contact submission form or email me at meredith@meredithactually.com!

Xoxo,

Meredith

Jeff

Not all men teach us a lesson when they’re done with us. Some are just fun for a while and then we move on with a few fond memories and another story to tell. Some teach us about ourselves, some teach us about trust and honesty, and some teach us about sex. But then there are those that so many women meet that teach us something much scarier. They teach us about trusting our instincts and about the danger of overly charming men. They teach us to question ourselves, to second guess every action, and to protect our sexual freedom. I went over 30 years of my life without ever encountering one of these men, until I met Jeff.

Jeff pursued me on instagram after following me and liking my posts for months. He was cute, light brown hair and dark eyes, a few years younger than I was but talked like a man who knew what he was doing. He lived in Aguora Hills or Thousand Oaks or somewhere way up in the valley that I was too lazy to drive to, so I didn’t really know if we’d ever wind up meeting. I liked talking to Jeff; we would talk about the thirsty guys in the comments on my instagram posts, my hilarious date stories, his date stories, and everything in between. We developed a comfortable and flirtatious friendship via text message, which I resisted even engaging in for at least a couple of weeks. It’s not so much that I play hard to get, but I’m a naturally guarded person and when I start to develop some sort of friendship (or more) with someone I truly take my time in making sure I want to give them access to my life. I like to think I’m a good judge of character, but when a guy is as charming and attractive as Jeff was, even I let my guard down.

After a month or so of talking and flirting, I finally agreed to hang out with Jeff. I very rarely would allow a man I’d never met to come to my place, but I felt comfortable with him and I have a taser. We’d had conversations about how men who message me are always expecting something, and I even told him about a time when a guy I met up with got a little too handsy and he acted appalled that someone would behave that way. He seemed to understand where I was coming from, even talked about how he had sisters and how he was very protective of them. I felt comfortable inviting him over because I thought I knew him at this point. I mean, come on, a guy with sisters he’s close to should be pretty safe, right? I was very clear with Jeff that even though I was letting him come over I was not guaranteeing anything physical with him and not to expect sex or anything. I know what kind of image I put out there, and as much as I love sex, I also still feel the need to make it clear that I don’t owe anyone sex. No one does. He said he understood and he was looking forward to getting to know me.

Yeah, sure he was.

Jeff showed up and was hotter in person. At least a foot taller than I was, a gorgeous smile and a typical southern California boy tan. He greeted me with a hug and I poured us each a glass of wine and we talked for a few minutes in my kitchen. He was so cute. I liked the way he looked at me and the way he smirked when he talked. I was still in the process of moving into my place so my living and dining area was completely empty, no furniture yet, and my roommate was asleep so I suggested that we hang out in my bedroom, the only room with furniture at the moment. He sat on the end of my bed and I walked around it and sat on the far corner of it from him. We sipped our wine, talked and joked for a little while and I was genuinely having a good time. That

didn’t last long though. We talked for maybe 5 minutes more before Jeff lunged forward and his tongue was down my throat. It kind of blindsided me and I pulled back and asked him to slow down. I’d never really experienced this before. Why wasn’t I into this? He was hot, I liked him, but for some reason I was suddenly uneasy and turned off. He slowed down and kissed me more gently then we started talking again…for a little while. I barely made it through one glass of wine before he was all over me, on top of me. I did not want this. I resisted for a bit, asking him to stop and slow down a couple of times before I just kind of said whatever and began unenthusiastically kissing him back. Why did I give in? I have never had a problem pulling away or not kissing back when I wasn’t interested. So why did I just let him kiss me? I wasn’t enjoying any of this. I’m always the first woman to tell others that you can say no, that you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. But here I was just giving in. I guess I felt like I owed him for driving all the way to Culver City to see me, or something. Maybe I felt obligated to at least kiss him because after all, I’d flirted with him, I’d invited him over. Everything in me knows that I did not owe him even the privilege of touching me, but for whatever reason, whatever deep, ingrained insecurity about feeling obligated to a man I apparently had, I passively kissed back. Maybe I thought that if I started kissing back I would begin to enjoy it and it would be okay. Maybe I thought he would be less aggressive if he knew I was into it. Or the thought I’m most ashamed of having: maybe he would like me more.

Things progressed to where Jeff was aggressively taking off my clothes. His hands seemed to be everywhere, and before I knew it I was completely naked, vulnerable, and he slipped his fingers inside of me. Too rough. Now, I’m not a prude or some kind of pussy, and I enjoy some moderately rough sex, but I didn’t enjoy this. Sex is supposed to be fun for everyone involved. I was not having fun. He then grabbed me by the hair with one hand and pulled me onto all fours. He slapped my ass so hard it made my eyes water as he pulled his dick out and basically shoved it in my mouth. I jerked my head back and told him to stop and that he was being too rough. He laughed, called me a slut, and said he knew I liked it.

But I didn’t like it. I didn’t want this.

I tried to pull back a few more times and told him to stop again. But he wasn’t stopping. He never let go of my hair and continued to slap my ass and sometimes my face, much harder than I ever wanted. I wanted to stop. I said stop. But he was twice my size and I thought if I just let him finish then it’ll be over. So I just let him fuck my face until he was done. I just wanted it to be over.

When Jeff finished he laughed, tossed my clothes at me, pulled his pants back on and said “I’m getting outta here.” I was shaking. I had never felt this way in my life. A combination of scared, angry, traumatized, and violated. I felt out of my body. You know when you have a dream that you’re throwing a punch or something but you’re moving in slow motion? I don’t even know how I got from naked, on my bed, to dressed and right in front of him, but it was as if my body finally allowed me to react, to fight back, and I felt my face get hot and I tried to slap him. He blocked my swing, and then acted like I was the crazy one and actually told me I should never hit someone. Like are you fucking kidding me?? You just basically raped my face bro, and you have

the audacity to tell me not to take a swing at you? Get the fuck out of here.

I told Jeff to get out and never to contact me again. I blocked him on everything, but not before sending him a lengthy text message letting him know that what he did to me was sexual assault and that I told him to stop. I don’t know if he even gives a shit or ever thinks about it. I’m sure I’m not the only girl he’s done something similar to, and he probably doesn’t think he’s ever done anything wrong. I cried myself to sleep that night. The next night too. My scalp was sore from how hard he pulled my hair and my ass was slightly bruised from how hard he slapped it. Everything hurt.

As time went by after my night with Jeff I started to think, was it my fault? I invited him over, I continued to kiss him, and ultimately I stopped fighting back. So did I have it coming? Did I deserve what happened because of our flirtatious conversations or the way I present myself sexually? Am I to blame for what happened? We are taught as little girls that when a boy is mean to you, pulls your hair on the playground, that means he likes you and that we should be flattered. When that boy pushes you down and kisses you, you are supposed to be thrilled. I never thought about the absurdity of that until I thought about the fact that I kissed Jeff back even though I didn’t want to. We literally teach little girls that abuse is a sign of affection. How fucking insane is that? As a 32-year-old woman with sexual confidence and a good head on her shoulders, that way of thinking was still in my head. I don’t have a daughter, and I doubt if I ever will, but if I do I will never EVER allow her to believe or accept that bullshit.

Hoe tip: Hoes can say no, too.

I have always been a woman who advocates for other women. I firmly believe that your sexuality does not make you any more or less of a person. No one should ever be made to feel ashamed of enjoying sex. Just because I enjoy sex does not mean I owe it to every guy who wants it. I should not have to hide who I am. I do not owe anyone anything. This is my body and I can do whatever I want with it. I deserve just as much respect as anyone else does, sex is my choice. It should have been my choice that night with Jeff, but he took that choice away from me.

I never heard from Jeff again and I don’t really think about him much or what he did to me. But what I do think about is how unfair it is that I spent so much time thinking I deserved what happened. I asked him to stop. I didn’t want to perform oral sex on him. I didn’t want to be slapped so hard I had marks on my ass for days. I didn’t want my hair pulled so hard my scalp was sore the next day. And I certainly did not deserve to get my face fucked when I told him to stop. I enjoy sex. I enjoy rough sex sometimes too. But on my terms, and with my consent. As women, we shouldn’t have to hide our sexuality or feel like we owe a man sex for any reason other than because we want to have sex with him. And in that same way, men shouldn’t feel that they owe a woman sex for any other reason either. Sex isn’t a form of currency. It should be fun for everyone involved. And after that night with Jeff, I promised myself that I’d never let anyone make me feel differently.

According to U.S. Rape Response Services, one in five women have been the victim of attempted or completed rape in their lifetime. One in two women have experienced or will experience some form of sexual violence other than rape in their lifetime. I’m part of that statistic now. Think about your friends, your family. Your best friends, your sisters, cousins, aunts. Not one single one of them deserved it. Sex is a choice, and everyone has the right to say no. I never reported Jeff to the police. I felt like it would just victimize me all over again, and at the end of the day it was a he-said she-said and likely nothing would happen. I knew I would be blamed for it and that he would argue that it was consensual. So many women never report their sexual assaults for the same reason. They get dragged through the mud and made to feel that they are to blame. I don’t know if that’s going to change, but I sure hope it does. Instead of teaching women they should censor themselves and be less sexual beings, how about we teach men to respect consent? While we’re out here being diligent and teaching women how to prevent rape, how about we spend time teaching men just not to rape?

I hope you read this, Jeff, and I hope you realize what you did and hope that next time a woman asks you to stop, you fucking listen.

*Name and locations have been changed for privacy reasons as no formal charges were filed*

Ask Meredith!

Here’s this week’s Q&A!

 

Q: I’ve been married for a fucking long time now. In fact, next summer is our 15th anniversary, 13 of which we’ve been legally obliged to one another. Kids n’ all. Don’t know if it was the youths insecurity or what, but I’ve tried it all with my hubby. Every position, every mainstream kinky stuff and some of the hardcore stuff.
From the beginning he was very keen to have butt sex and tried we did. After two weeks of dating that was and guess it was such a superior ass that he insisted on having more. And more. And more.
….And more. After fifteen years, he still fantasies, and proposes anal. And I give it to him plenty. Almost weekly. It’s always somewhat pleasurable for me also but man, I wish I could fuck a guy who is all about pussy. I go down on him regularly, few times a week, he rarely returns the favor. I’d ride him with vag-massage ’till dawn and he talks dirty, butt talk, how much he likes my ass and would like to nut in it. Usually I take my pleasure and let him have his in my ass.
I exercise and am super tight inside. Had some insecurities in that department once so got a regime and now I can pretty much suck and massage with my vajayjay. He enjoys it alright, but it’s always second best. He just prefers anal.
Tried to talk it out with him but am now fantasising of a real pussy eater, who’d fuck me senseless and enjoy it for what it is, and not expecting anal at the end.
Should I try and get some or stay faithful to my butt-fixated man?

A: Kudos to you for still being adventurous after being together for so long! This is a tough call because it’s great that you still have a very active sex life and I think many couples who have been together for as long as you have can’t say the same. I think another conversation is warranted. I do not advocate cheating on your partner. But he needs to understand that he is not fulfilling your needs sexually and that these are your fantasies. I don’t like to use sex as a bargaining chip, but maybe be less accommodating. Show him the same courtesy that he is showing you and perhaps he’ll start to get it. Keep the lines of communication open and be clear to him about what you want. Good luck!

 

Q: Hi. I really think im undersized because I have a skinny dick. It’s maybe 7 inches but its like two fingers thick only. Girls keep telling me its big enough when I’m asking and they seem to enjoy it, but it still kinda bothers me that the internet said it’s thin. Idk only one girl I stay close with said if I’m feeling uncomfortable I should thicken up my dick with a surgery.. what should I do?

A: We all have things we’re self-conscious about physically speaking. I’m not a doctor or anything, but I’m not really sure I’d trust some dick surgery for that. If you’re having good sex and girls are enjoying it, then don’t worry. Men with all different penis sizes are able to please women in a variety of ways, be adventurous. Also, if you haven’t already, learn to eat pussy. 7 inches is above average, length-wise by the way.

 

Q:  So my one roommate habitually cheats on his gf, and turned her against me and my other roommate (there’s 3 of us). She’s super hot, super nice, and doesn’t deserve it. What should we do? We can’t tell her b/c we have to live with the guy, but at the same time he’s turned her against us (assumably to protect himself incase we tell her). Things have gotten so bad none of us will be home when they are there (he’s a real fuck). What would you do?

A: Roommate situations like that are never easy. As shitty as it is, it’s not really your business to tell her or to get involved in their relationship. If she was your friend separately from him, that would be one thing, but unfortunately if you’re just a bystander it’s probably best to stay out of it. Things like that have a way of working themselves out, he’s going to get caught at some point.  As far as your living situation goes, it’s your home too. Act like they’re not even there and go about your business. And if the tension continues be clear with your roommate that what he’s doing is shitty and that it’s not cool to make being at home uncomfortable for you two since you are paying rent too. I hope your lease is up soon and you can move on from living with the guy though, he sounds like a douche.

 

Q: I’m having a difficult time with leaving emotions at the door when it comes to sex? Whats your best advice for removing the emotions from sex when it’s all someone knows? That may be tough to answer but I’ve been through enough BS and heartbreak that I’m tired of the toll it takes on me emotionally. I’m in uncharted waters, please help.

A: Making the conscious decision not to get feelings involved in a sexual relationship is a lot more difficult for some people than others. If you’ve always had an emotional connection to the person you’re having sex with, it will be difficult to have sex with someone who is just a casual parter with no strings. I’m not one that struggles with that, so my advice may be easier said than done, but try to separate the act of sex from dating and relationships. Seek out sexual partners that are open to casual sex and not interested in a romantic relationship. Be clear up front about those kinds of expectations and then you’re less likely to get too involved and hurt.

 

Q: What are some tips for going down on a girl?

A: Every woman is different in what they like and how they are shaped in the vag area. So it’s very important to be attentive and intuitive. Teasing the inner thighs and very lightly across the lips is a great way to build up the anticipation and turn a woman on immensely. Pay attention to how she responds to certain kinds of touch and in what areas. Find the clitoris. *A little louder for the people in the back* FIND THE CLITORIS. That’s how you’re gonna make her cum from oral. Don’t get too aggressive on it right out the gates, personally I prefer lighter touch as I’m very sensitive. Starting out lighter and slower is a good way to gauge what she likes, increasing in intensity to her liking. Pay attention to her breathing and physical responses and listen to her. Also, use your fingers internally to massage the g spot. This combo is like dynamite. Use a combination of licking and sucking on the clit as well, and when she cums don’t stop until she tells you to.

 

That’s all for today, send me your questions via the contact page here or via email at meredith@meredithactually.com!

 

Xoxo,

Meredith